#goals

It's that time of year again.

That time of year when I begin to ponder where I'm at, where I've been and where I am going in the new year.  I always enjoy the feeling of starting fresh and having a clean slate.  I love that each day is a fresh opportunity to be our best selves and I FULLY embrace that ... but the beginning of a new year is truly like turning a big page in the book of life.

This past year I felt a little scattered.  I don't feel like I had a solid focus and then life dealt us what seemed like challenge after challenge after challenge.  I'm pleased to say we rolled with those challenges but a significant part of my year was spent "behind the eight ball" and feeling never caught up, never prepared, always chasing something and feeling never enough. Not enough time, not enough money, not enough space ... all while struggling knowing that many of these are #firstworldproblems

One of my major goals this past year was to be a bigger part of the financial picture in my home, meaning contribute more financially.  While I love (ADORE) my photography business ... it is unreliable in terms of being able to PLAN for the income.  It is a beautiful job in that it is flexible, but it is also a luxury item for people as opposed to a necessity.  Although I typically have a very busy fall, I cannot PLAN on having a busy fall.  WHY? Because of free will and choice! Everyone has a CHOICE in the matter ... will they have pictures taken again?  Do they NEED pictures taken? Will they even CHOOSE me?  You can understand why, although I'm hoping each year, I cannot count on that income.

We all have choices to make and I've been so very blessed to stay home with the kids since they were born while still pursuing passion projects I love. I also have a SUPER supportive husband who encourages me to do what I love and that means the world to me.

But what ended up happening is that I spread myself too thin, taking on more jobs, then getting really busy in my photography busy season.  I found myself going in every direction and none of them the RIGHT direction.  Exhausted is what I was more than anything else.  Add in that I'm a classic overachiever and truly all I was giving to each thing was less than 100% ... because how can you give 10 things a full 100%?  That is 1000% and no one has 1000% to give.  

So I find myself in this familiar spot once again ... reflecting & goal setting.  I LOVE the act of setting goals. I love writing my ambitions down and even more so, I LOVE crossing them off. (overachieve much? ;) cough, cough)

I haven't landed on a plan yet.  I'm still in the reflecting mode for the most part. But one thing I do know for sure ... I miss writing.  I miss this space to share a part of myself and a part of my life.  Sharing here not only keeps a history for me but it provides a space for me to connect with others and find common ground. 

So, I'm considering this the soft re-launch of the blog.  I know, I know.  WHY are you taking more on? Why are you putting more on your plate?  Listen, some things are going to come off of my plate to make space for this, rest assured.  But this space offers me sanity, a creative outlet, a space to connect, a way to hone my creative writing, an outlet for a brain dump and a journal for our family.  Because someday ... SOMEDAY ... maybe they will want to know how hard I tried, how tirelessly I worked and how very much I loved them in my own words. #goals